I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
