Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize