DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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