seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
