i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
