this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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