3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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