i jhust puked up my retainher.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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