Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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