are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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