I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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