Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
