He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
