so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
