Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
