i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
