The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
