im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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