so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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