I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
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I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
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Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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