so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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