did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
