So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
