It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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