North Korea, Best Korea!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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