i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
