Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
