ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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