Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
