??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
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I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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