I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today