i think my mom watched the whole time
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.