Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.