Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg

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(612): Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg http://tfl.nu/5ras

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(310): View more from California

Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck

(312): View more from Illinois

Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?

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(310): Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck (312): Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to? http://tfl.nu/odqf

Replies (72) Good night (1938) Bad night (9063)
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(563): View more from Iowa

why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

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(563): why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth. http://tfl.nu/0ql9

Replies (23) Good night (691) Bad night (3773) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning

(1-217): View more from Illinois

didn't feel it. :)

(217): View more from Illinois

It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.

(1-217): View more from Illinois

wait what? so it's not in america?

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(217): Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning (1-217): didn't feel it. :) (217): It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't. (1-217): wait what? so it's not in america? http://tfl.nu/0q24

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(951): View more from California

Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.

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(951): Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials. http://tfl.nu/ieds

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(407): View more from Florida

I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers

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(407): I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers http://tfl.nu/i49j

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(770): View more from Georgia

You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.

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(770): You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month. http://tfl.nu/j1wm

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(843): View more from South Carolina

you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time

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(843): you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time http://tfl.nu/xd6c

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(812): View more from Indiana

and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out

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(812): and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out http://tfl.nu/6hen

Replies (5) Good night (1903) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.

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(773): Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive. http://tfl.nu/999r

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(908): View more from New Jersey

But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.

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(908): But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying. http://tfl.nu/oo2a

Replies (14) Good night (465) Bad night (1185)
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(209): View more from California

I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.

(209): View more from California

Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.

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(209): I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now. (209): Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4. http://tfl.nu/hx3p

Replies (9) Good night (1860) Bad night (581)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.

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(952): WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms. http://tfl.nu/gsmc

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(773): View more from Illinois

who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.

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(773): who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this. http://tfl.nu/j8g2

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(309): View more from Illinois

Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.

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(309): Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror. http://tfl.nu/0k0h

Replies (2) Good night (550) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt

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