I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize