Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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