I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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