We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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