That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I love you. Go after that dick
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
