Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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