I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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