She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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