just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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