i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
