Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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