I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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