Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
