he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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