Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
