That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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