Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm too high and old for this...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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