Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize