Girls should come with a carfax report
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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