Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
