Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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