I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
