apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
