Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Farmville is her only friend.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
