Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
