yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You don't make any sense
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