I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
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I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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