sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
